The Hidden Impact: How Witnessing Domestic Violence as a Child Shapes Emotional Health and Relationships in Adulthood

Written By Catie .

This semester, I had the chance to write a paper on an important issue: the impact of witnessing domestic violence during childhood and how it affects emotional regulation, attachment styles, and relationships in young adulthood. This topic is incredibly relevant because many people don't realize how deeply childhood trauma, especially exposure to domestic violence, can affect someone's emotional health and relationships as they grow older.

Each year, around 3.3 million children in the U.S. between the ages of 3 and 17 witness serious parental violence (Resource Center on Domestic Violence, 2025). While the physical harm caused by domestic violence often gets the most attention, the emotional and psychological toll it takes on children is just as significant. These early experiences of trauma can carry through into adulthood, influencing how we handle our emotions, form connections, and maintain relationships. In this post, I’ll break down some of the long-term effects of witnessing domestic violence and how it shapes young adults' emotional and social lives.

The Long-Term Emotional Impact of Witnessing Domestic Violence

Witnessing domestic violence as a child doesn’t just leave behind physical scars—it also impacts how someone processes and manages their emotions as they grow older. The emotional effects can be serious, leading to problems like emotional dysregulation, anxiety, depression, and even physical symptoms like headaches and stomach issues (Kansas Judicial Branch, 2025). Research shows that children exposed to intimate partner violence (IPV) often struggle with these emotional challenges well into adulthood.

For many, emotional dysregulation means having trouble managing feelings like anger or frustration. Others may experience more subtle emotional struggles, like sadness, insecurity, or fear, which can develop into anxiety or depression. These unresolved emotional issues often make it harder to maintain healthy relationships, whether they’re romantic, familial, or even professional.

Attachment Styles and Relationship Building

Another key effect of witnessing domestic violence is on attachment styles, which play a huge role in how we approach relationships. Kids who grow up in homes where violence is present often develop insecure or disorganized attachment styles, which can impact their ability to trust others as they get older. This lack of security can make it difficult to form close, healthy relationships in adulthood.

Studies show that children exposed to domestic violence often struggle with attachment issues in their adult relationships. For example, research by Russell, Spring, and Greenfield (2010), and Holt et al. (2008) shows that these children may have trouble forming secure bonds with others, leading to challenges in both romantic and platonic relationships. They might avoid intimacy or struggle to communicate their emotions effectively. In young adulthood, these attachment issues can lead to relationship breakdowns, feelings of loneliness, or a constant sense of uncertainty in their connections with others.

Gender Differences in Emotional and Behavioral Responses

Research also points out that witnessing domestic violence can affect men and women differently. For instance, studies show that men who witness domestic violence in childhood are more likely to engage in violent behavior in their own relationships as adults (Robert et al., 2010; Shi et al., 2024). This is part of a cycle of violence that often continues across generations.

On the flip side, women who witness domestic violence are more likely to internalize the trauma, which can lead to issues like depression, anxiety, and poor self-esteem. These emotional responses often affect their ability to build healthy relationships. The differences between men’s and women’s emotional reactions highlight the need for tailored interventions—what works for one person may not work for someone else, especially when considering factors like gender, age, and the specific nature of the trauma (Graham-Bermann & Hughes, 1999).

Interventions and Support for Those Affected

Understanding how trauma affects emotional regulation and attachment is essential for those working in social services, especially social workers and therapists. By acknowledging the deep emotional scars left by witnessing domestic violence, mental health professionals can create more effective, personalized interventions. These interventions can focus on developing emotional regulation skills, improving attachment styles, and rebuilding the ability to trust and connect with others.

As someone pursuing a career in social work, I’ve learned that interventions need to go beyond treating symptoms like depression or anxiety. They need to address the trauma that lies beneath these symptoms. Trauma-informed care focuses on helping people understand how their past experiences shape their emotional responses and relationships, and this approach is crucial for helping individuals heal and form healthier connections in their adult lives.

Conclusion

The effects of witnessing domestic violence as a child are far-reaching and can last into adulthood. Emotional dysregulation, insecure attachment, and difficulties forming relationships are just a few of the ways this trauma shapes individuals as they grow older. Understanding these long-term consequences is key to providing better support and care for those affected.

This paper and the evidence it presents are especially important to me because of my passion for creating a safe space for children, particularly those growing up in vulnerable and abusive households. The emotional and psychological toll of witnessing abuse during adolescence is devastating, and I deeply believe that raising awareness about this issue is crucial. As someone working in social work, I am committed to advocating for these children and offering them the care and resources they need to heal. By highlighting the lasting impact of childhood trauma, we can begin to break the cycle of violence and provide a path forward for those who have been affected. Social workers, therapists, and other professionals need to adopt trauma-informed approaches that acknowledge the emotional scars left by domestic violence. By doing so, we can help young adults regain emotional stability, rebuild relationships, and ultimately break free from the lasting effects of childhood trauma.

 

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Catie .
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